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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida."

"What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has? Parents."

"[Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' ""That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired"" [later googling Sextuple] ""Omg that's genius"""

"Grandpa, why did you have so many kids? ""Hey anon, do you want to know why your grandmother and I had so many children?"" ""Why's that, Grandpa?"" ""No TV."""

"How do you make apple jelly? google maps."

"a bloodbath has got to be the least effective type of bath"

"My boss is having a colonoscopy today. I sure hope they find his head."

"Rick Astley: Do you have any Pixar movies I can borrow? Me: You can have Cars, Toy Story & Ratatouille, but I'm never gonna give you UP."

"Did you hear about the fight in the bathroom? Shit went down"

"Necrophiliacs love going out on expiration dates."