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Joke of the Day

"I have a step stool... I never knew my real stool."

"Unless you're a toddler heading towards traffic I'm not running after you."

"What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony"

"Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. ""Just leave, before they change their mind."""

"I've always wanted to know how long ""forever"" was... and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 2 to 4 weeks."

"January 20, 2017 The day America expires."

"Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff? So it would push back."

"Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt? It'd be a waste of time."

"A blind guy walks into a bar... Then a table, a chair..."

"What nipple did the UFO crash land on? Areola 51"