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Joke of the Day

"I have a step stool... I never knew my real stool."

"Why was 8 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender"

"that's disgusting (unless you're up for it?)"

"What do you call a horny dog??? Nothing. So he doesn't come..."

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? Cause it scares the fuck out of the dogs"

"Obama and Putin are fighting over a phone charger. You might even say they're in a power struggle."

"[quietly opens a beer] Funeral Director: seriously?! Me: oh sorry [reaches into cooler and hands him one]"

"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."

"Tom Brady will be suspended from his balls"

"Saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his neck. Scanned it with my RedLaser app & he couldn't believe I found him cheaper on 3 online stores"