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Joke of the Day

"Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds."

"The weatherman said it's nice outside. I guess they don't let him watch the rest of the news."

"Doctor doctor I'm so ugly. What can I do about it? Hire yourself out for Halloween parties."

"According to my calorie intake, I just need to be on the treadmill for 3 years today."

"Obama calls Putin and asks abut his Thanksgiving. Putin: Turkey is about to be cooked."

"What is Baltimore's favourite instrument The lute"

"I hate how politically correct we have become as a society ... You can't even say black paint anymore. Now you have to say, ""Jamal kindly paint my house?"""

"(After you win something, say this to the loser). You're like an Italian man with his foot in his mouth (Italian accent) You tasted defeat."

"[Office] Secretary: Mr. Grey will see you now. Anastasia Steele: I have a ridiculous name."

"My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he's just a lamp so what does he really know anyway"