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Joke of the Day

"My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he's just a lamp so what does he really know anyway"

"Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous."

"Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday."

"Did you know Japanese goddess Izanami was a Nazi? Just read her name backwards!"

"The hazards of time travel: Magneto clubbed to death by primitive stone-age man."

"why do they always say ""fight fire with fire"" in the movies and stuff? basic pokemon training renders that pretty ineffective"

"What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert? ""Don't stop! Be leaving!"" Just a joke I thought up the other day."

"I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site... Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks."

"My therapist said that I second guess myself too much. [deleted]"

"Scary Story Told In Only Five Words Your browser history is public!"