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Joke of the Day
"Twitter should give you rollover characters from your short tweets."
Next Joke
"Why was Snape in the middle of the road? So you would never know what side he was on."
"What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? The corn farmer shucks between fits, whilst the prostitute fucks between shits."
"My mating call in winter is just me shaving my legs."
"What is perfectly adorable, good as new, and has seven tiny dents in it... Snow White's hymen."
"Saw a TV at the dumpster with a sign that said 'free TV' and boy do I feel stupid, I paid $200 for the last TV sitting at a dumpster"
"What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company? One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors."
"Why did the masseuse give her lawyer a happy ending? She thought he could come in handy. (I'll let myself out)"
"Want to hear a clean joke? A man takes a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man"
"You can baby proof your house instantly by not inviting any babies over."