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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when you're sucking in your stomach but it looks like you're not?"

"People are not mirrors, They see you completely differently than the way you see yourself."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aries ! Aries who ? Aries a reason why I talk this way !"

"I put the STD in STUD... And all I'm missing is you."

"Due to flooding, my kid's school is closed. Pffft. In my day, we swam to school--uphill--both ways."

"In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works."

"How much space does the EU have left? 1GB"

"[on plane] Me: It's ok, more ppl are killed by hippos than by plane crashes Pilot: This is your captain speaking, I'm a hippo btw Me: Nooooo"

"My asian girlfriend refuses to go all the way with me... She's a real life Chinese finger trap"

"Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching."