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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer It's too bad Chuck Norris never cries"

"I was going to be a politician for Halloween Then I realized I couldn't fit my head up my ass"

"A horse trots into a bar . . . with a 8 foot stringy greasy turd stuck in his butt, dragging along behind. Bartender stares down at the trailing choad, then looks up - ""Why the long feces?"""

"Cheating in a joke. A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"What did fettuccine say to rigatoni? Que pasta?"

"Did you know semen leaves the body at almost thirty miles per hour? This means it's illegal to ejaculate in a school zone. I don't think the speed was why I was arrested though."

"I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse. Ba dum tiss"

"There's a new Fast & Furious ride at Universal Studios I really hope I don't get Paul Walkers car"

"What's Hitler's least favorite planet? Jewpiter."

"How do you greet a gay Hispanic? Homo Estas!"