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Joke of the Day

"How do you greet a gay Hispanic? Homo Estas!"

"Aardvarks aare so aanoying. Aalmost everything theyre aasociated with is aanoying. I get Aangry just thinking aabout them. Aalso Aarons."

"Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched."

"""can i smoke in here?"" ""sure go ahead sir"" ""thanks"" *lights scented candle* ""can i scatter rose petals in here?"" ""erm- ""can i dim the lights"

"Godzilla on his smartphone, googling 'How many carbs does Tokyo have'"

"Why did the skeleton go alone to prom? Because he had *nobody* to go with."

"What's long thin and smells of piss? Old people doing the conga."

"What did Vladimir name his member? Put-in. (In a Russian accent)"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant? A: A mad scientist."

"Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can."