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Joke of the Day

"I overheard my wife singing in the shower. ""You should go on America's Got Talent,"" I told her. ""I can't sing,"" she replied. I said, ""Exactly."""

"Me: Excuse me, where's the rowing boat equipment? Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. Me: ... Employee: ... Me: Or you'll what?"

"A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar Guy: You're the most average girl out here. Girl: Hey, you're mean! Guy: No, you are."

"How are peanut butter and jelly related? They're inbred"

"What's the squeakiest ride at the fair? The haunted mouse"

"I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart... But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky."

"Getting a bit worried, is this normal? One of my nipples is a different colour than the other two"

"Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light."

"You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me."

"""What do we want?!"" ""TIME TRAVEL!"" ""When do we want it?!"" ""IRRELEVANT!"""