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Joke of the Day

"Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said ""concentrate""! "

"It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one."

"Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months? The box said 2-4 years!"

"There's this guy at work who's giving his wife a gym membership & a vegetable juicer for her birthday tomorrow. His name was Tom."

"Me: Liar, liar, pants on fire! Nose as long as a telephone wire! Daughter: A telephone WHAT? Me: Wire. Daughter: That doesn't make sense."

"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work! h/t to Big Mike, Tha Gangsta of Luv."

"What did the pirate say to his kids when picking them up from school? Get in the carrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Shit happens, I mean, look at your face."

"How many literalists does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? Goesintight."