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Joke of the Day
"Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather.I am wearing a house."
Next Joke
"Christmas gift Mom walks to her son ""Johnny, what would you like for Christmas - a brother or a sister?"" she asks ""Well, I'd like a sled, but I don't know if your vagina can handle that."" he replies."
"How do you know if a hippie was at your house? He's still there."
"Apparently Rihanna and Christ Brown are releasing a song together. Given the recent passing of Michael Jackson, I think a cover of ""Beat It"" was an insensitive choice."
"[date] Me: 'Don't let her know ur a boxing ring announcer...' Her: ""Shall we order dessert?"" Me: ""LET'S GET READY TO EAT APPLE CRUUUUMBLE!"""
"All this ""Kaine is boring"" talk is your reminder that nowadays Abraham Lincoln would have to know parkour or some shit"
"How many dogs does it take to change a tampon? 26"
"Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?"
"If someone finds a corpse, in the river off 4th St., in a blue suitcase, it wasn't me."
"My roommate is a chemistry major, and plays the organ.. One could say that he's an organic chemist."