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Joke of the Day

"I'm surprisingly calm about Internet spoiling Star Wars to me. Who could believe Kylo Ren is actually vegetarian and grandson of General Akbar"

"My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?"

"Facebook should change its name to Acquaintance Birthday Reminder"

"Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016"

"What do you call... What do you call four mexicans standing in quicksand? Cuatros Cincos"

"Q: What kind of tree grows in your hand? A: A palm tree."

"Coffee rules everything around me. C.R.E.A.M. Get the sugar. Java java beans, y'all."

"Where did the Gingerbread man lose his leg? He lost it back in the 'Nom War"

"Eskimo What does an Eskimo girl say before she is about to lose her virginity? ""Careful Dad, don't squish my smokes."""

"How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer? ...you put the duck in the microwave on high until it's Bill Withers."