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Joke of the Day

"Q: What happened when the teacher fell in the copier? A: She was beside herself."

"What do you call s'mores in Spanish? S'mas"

"What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog...because it croaks every night"

"I don't get how Bono is such a great philanthropist... I mean, isn't it a little selfish of him to do everything ""pro bono""?"

"I always have to throw out my animal crackers. They always have that label: ""Do not eat if seal is broken""."

"Does anyone know which homeless shelters provide wifi?"

"A woman in labor is screaming profanities at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, ""Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass but NO, you said that might hurt!"""

"I'm so happy I finally tied the knot. Now I've just got to kick the chair she's standing on and I'm a free man!"

"How do you get a Twinkie pregnant? Put it in box of Ding Dongs. What is it afterwards? A HoHo"

"I'm addicted to ass. It's like crack to me."