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Joke of the Day

"The police came to my door and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes My dogs don't even have bikes"

"My life is just like Rihanna's new song. Work work work work work and the rest I can't really understand!"

"I told my son about the birds and the bees... He told me about my wife and the mail man. I get no respect"

"I'm the kind of guy who peeks under bathroom stalls and asks where you go for taxes."

"So when I went to buy my new phone, the Extravert, I asked if there was an Introvert... and they handed me a book."

"I hear there's a sex toy and lingerie shop for chavs. Nissan Summers."

"John Boehner is lucky Pope Francis didn't splash any holy water on him. He wouldn't have been crying. He would have burst into flames."

"A hummingbird is a lot like a songbird, It just doesn't know the lyrics."

"Why wouldn't you ask the zebra for music advice? Because he only knows about The White Stripes."

"Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself."