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Joke of the Day

"A man walks up to two nuns and reveals himself to them, one had a stroke... ... the other couldn't quite reach."

"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets"

"I'd like people more if they were kittens instead."

"How did the investigators discover that a serial killer had dandruff? They found head & shoulders in his bathroom."

"I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES ""Don't you mean catlike-"" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]"

"A bird in the hand is never as fun as a hand in the bush."

"[storming out of the bedroom in a novelty banana costume] YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID THINGS WERE GETTING TOO PREDICTABLE KAREN..."

"Wow kanye west's website is named kanye west .com .. can you believe the ego on this guy. jeez louise."

"I was dating an archaeologist but I had to break up with her Turns out she was a gold digger."

"I'm sorry I jumped on you, from a distance you looked like a conclusion."