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Joke of the Day
"Hey girl is there wifi here? Cuz i feel a connection"
Next Joke
"All I'm saying is God wouldn't have given me this wild hair if he didn't want me to store stuff in it. *baby hedgehog peaks out*"
"It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons."
"[restaurant] Man *proposing to his gf*: ""Will you make me the happiest man alive?"" [me, alone, eating nachos a table over] ""Not possible"""
"I didn't think my hangover was that bad, until I spent 10 minutes trying to log into my nephew's Etch-a-sketch."
"I like my men how I like my rum Smooth, dark, rich, and with a bunch of coke."
"Just shared w/ my son the amazing story of a boy who wanted to go to his friend's house & didn't get to go & yet everybody lived in the end."
"*rubs magic lamp*rubs harder and faster*genie semen sprays everywhere*"
"How do Japanese people refer to American politicians? Parti-san"
"Two peanuts are hanging out with the wrong crowd... One was assaulted!"