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Joke of the Day
"My friend says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge. We'll just see about that..."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the popcorn that was demoted? He used to be a kernel."
"What's the program jedi use to read pdf files? Adobe wan kenobi"
"I named my dog Syndrome So every time he jumps on people I can shout: ""Down Syndrome!"""
"What do you call a flying jew? Ash"
"Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness."
"""Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies"" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight."
"Detective: Where were you on the night- Me: Twitter Detective: Between the hour- Me: Twitter Detective: I wasn't fini- Me: Twitter"
"I caught my son wiping his boogers on the couch which is gross because I don't want our boogers mixing."
"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."