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Joke of the Day
"Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness."
Next Joke
"An atheistic dyslexic... Believes there is no Dog."
"A Polish Man Invented The Toilet Seat A few days later, a German decided to cut a hole in it."
"I'm in a band called Arrogant Rat We're like Modest Mouse but way better"
"I've been sleeping with my pocket knife these days... It fucking hurts!"
"Calling someone average is mean but I think they are the mean"
"me: an open casket with my vape pen hanging from my mouth wedding DJ: i meant final requests for songs man"
"So, a one-hump camel marries a two-hump camel, and they have a baby, but the baby didn't have a hump. So they named him Humphrey."
"*opens up briefcase in court, revealing snakes* ""Wait. Then that means-"" [cut to my nemesis waking up surrounded by my opening statement]"
"They're playing Earth, Wind and Fire. I was not prepared to party this hard at Home Depot."