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Joke of the Day
"I used to have a terrible addiction to soap... ...but I'm clean now."
Next Joke
"I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I'm feeling pretty awesome!!"
"I personally don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis."
"Why was the mother flea so unhappy? All her children had gone to the dogs."
"My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she tries to get out of the car."
"""A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."" Ayn Rand Obviously He's never been a cotton plantation slave owner."
"I think my 2 year old wants to move to Iowa. She points to everything and says ""Des Moines."""
"Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans? Choosing dog food is hard."
"I got 99 problems and each of them is being able to make relevant pop culture references."
"9: My teacher doesn't wear makeup like you do. I guess she doesn't need it because she's younger. Me: Get out of the car."