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Joke of the Day
"I slept like a baby last night... I woke up every 15 minutes and then shat myself"
Next Joke
"What do you get when you finger a gypsy on her period? Your palm red for free"
"One hair in my soup Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!"
"Leave it to the idiot hippys to adopt a ""holiday"" on Hitler's Birthday. Merica."
"I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* ""your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"""
"Told my kids to get rid of toys they don't play with, so if you hear a commotion it's just them desperately playing with every toy they own."
"*At the pearly gates* St Peter: Welcome to heaven. I'll show you around. Me: Sooo many oysters must've died to make this gate."
"How many Northern Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? Hella."
"If the picture you took of the bad weather while driving isn't followed by a picture of your car crash then it wasn't that bad."
"How to make holy water You boil the hell out of it."