159484

Joke of the Day

"Yo mama's so loose and hairy... It looks like Bob Ross screaming at the top of his lungs."

"I often find myself rewording a long tweet so many times that it completely loses the original subject. This one started off about a cat."

"How bad is it, doc? ""Well, you'll never run again"" So basically the same"

"Why did Turkey disappear? Because Austria was Hungary."

"My kid wants pizza without the crust AND a side of breadsticks. It appears I've given birth to everything that's wrong with America."

"Going to open a Vietnamese restaurant and name it Viet Nom Nom Nom."

"I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson... but now I'm an ex-tractor fan."

"Staples is attempting a hostile takeover of its rival Office Depot. Office Depot has retaliated by snapping rubber bands at Staples."

"My wife wants to have the baby listen to classical music while in the womb. Would an ipod nano or shuffle be easier to get up there?"

"I'm going to leave the presents out and hide my kids in the closet until Christmas."