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Joke of the Day

"If you're looking for an excuse to ruin your life, I'm right here."

Next Joke
 
"You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with."
"There was an episode of the Flintstones where a mechanic worked on Fred's car HEY FRED YOURE GETTING RIPPED OFF THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THERE"
"Three feminists walk into a bar. They look at one another and say, ""Hooray! We've taken over a male-dominated joke format!"""
"wait, THESE are pistachios? i've been calling them wood clams"
"My wife told me I had to give up drinking So I joined the AA. Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake. At least either way I'm on the road to recovery."
"I could tell you a joke about sadomasochism, necrophilia and bestiality... But it'd just be beating a dead horse."
"How do you get an elephant on a train? You take the ""S"" out of sub, and the ""F"" out of way. [Say it out loud]"
"My handicapped girlfriend claimed she could arouse me at any moment but it's hard when she can't move an inch"
"Tell me more about how awful dubstep is, generation that celebrated disco."