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Joke of the Day

"If you're looking for an excuse to ruin your life, I'm right here."

"A young boy asks his Jewish father if he can have $10.... The father responds ""8 dollars?! What do you need 6 dollars for?!"" :)"

"What does Monica Lewinsky and Soda Machine have in common?"

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts!"

"There's a banana and a vibrator on a table... The banana turns to the vibrator and asks: ""Hey, why are you trembling? It's not *you* they're going to eat!"""

"If you were killed by a cop... ..which store would you want looted in your memory?"

"Born too late to explore the earth, born too early to explore the Galaxy... ...born too ugly to explore a woman."

"What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine? One doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it."

"I went to look at tents today. But I didn't buy one. There was nothing before them, there was no pre-tents."

"I want to tell the sun to stop being so self-centered But the world does revolve around him"