159323

Joke of the Day

"A recent survey asked 12 year olds what they had done over the past week. 83 percent answered... ""your mom""."

"What Do You Call A Galloping Musician? Ludvig Van BeetHOOFen."

"It was dark so I had to feel around for the hole with my finger, I didn't wanna just randomly jam it in anywhere I hate it when the keyless remote battery dies."

"""So send me a picture of you..."" *sends* ""Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."""

"What kind of Bees make milk? Boobies."

"What's the rudest kind of elf? A go fuck yours-elf"

"What do you call someone who masturbates a lot? A nutcracker."

"How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his own."

"There are two kinds of woman who never complain. GIFs and JPGs"

"""I don't like the taste of water."" - first world problem"