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Joke of the Day

"""My husband had a heart attack while having sex with me."" ""I'm so sorry, ma'am. At least he died doing what he loved."""

"School buses are the clock blockers of my morning commute."

"How do you call people that are always squinting at you? Asians"

"Boss made me put a nametag over my left bosom. I leaned over and said, ""Now, what shall we name the other one?"""

"[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?"

"BREAKING NEWS: A man breaks two ribs while laying in bed! ...and we'll return after this short commercial with more on how a man attempted to suck his own penis!"

"A termite walks into a bar... And asks the nearest person ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""

"Take me down to the gentrified city where the grass is green and the girls can't even"

"You should never yell ""Fire!"" in a crowded theater The gunman will shoot when he's ready, it isn't polite to rush him"

"What's the difference between America and Europe? In America, we call our inbred hillbillies. In Europe, they call them royals."