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Joke of the Day

"Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER"

"I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: ""I miss Detroit"" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, ""Hope this helps."""

"Did you hear about the two silk worms that got in a fight? It ended in a tie."

"daddy's lap Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

"How are women and computers the same? Neither take your 3.5 inch floppy anymore.. unless you pay extra."

"What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again..."

"what is a deaf person's favorite cereal? shredded what"

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt"

"It all changed when my girlfriend got pregnant.... My name, my address, my phone number..."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock KNOCK KNOCK. Who is there? The pilot."