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Joke of the Day

"What did the Russian man say to the boy after he did nice for someone? That was *Cher-i-nobyl* of you"

"do you know? Did you know It takes the average American male approximately 4 minutes to have an orgasm. Do you know how long it takes the average woman? Who fucking cares."

"Shipwreck survivors on an island S1: We told you to spell 'SOS' with those coconuts! S2: I know but I want our rescuers to know I'm a vegan."

"What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge? Elvis Parsley"

"My dick is like my grades.... Because its curved."

"My girlfriend left me today because I have developed a pasta touching fetish. I've been feeling Canneloni ever since. :'("

"Interviewer: Any special skills? Me: Eclairvoyance. Him: I don't understand. Me: There's a box of donuts in your desk Him: YOU KNOW TOO MUCH"

"Baby monitors are pointless because most babies simply stop doing illegal shit as soon as they realize you've got their room bugged."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Its ok he worked it out with a pencil"

"MY DATE WHO IS A SQUID: What movie should we see? ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*"