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Joke of the Day

"- How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile? - Two. One to launch it one to watch CNN to find out where it landed."

"My wife tried on a new dress and turned to me and said, ""I look fat, can you give me a compliment?"" ""You have perfect eyesight"", I replied."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? I heard it might be time consuming."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkings in a house fire."

"reckon the clouds look down and say, ''look! that one is shaped like an idiot?''"

"Just changed my Facebook name to No one' so when.. Just changed my Facebook name to No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say No one likes this'."

"What's the difference between a quid and a pound? I can't quid my dick into your mom."

"What did the Germans name the Israeli Submarine? Das Jude"

"The best way to run into that hot person you've been dying to talk to is to leave the house looking the worst you possibly can."

"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but I hear the reception was excellent."