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Joke of the Day

"90% of the contacts in my phone are useless"

"What did the bread say when it was about have an orgasm? (NSFW) What did the bread say when it was about to have an orgasm? ""I'm Crumbing"""

"Why wouldn't Hannibal Lecter eat clowns? Because they tasted funny."

"Two blondes walk into a building... You'd think one of em would have seen it! Ba dum tss"

"[boss finds pics of me snowboarding] ""You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING"" *fist bump*"

"The reason I love mushrooms Cause just like mushrooms... I'm a fun guy."

"How did the Latino girl get pregnant Her teacher told her to do an essay"

"Skinny girls think they're fat, fat girls think they're obese. Obese girls...... think they can wear yoga pants"

"The director of ""A Girl in the River"" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars"

"what is the best way to smuggle drugs? In your dogs asshole. Should there be border control frisking, it will be perceived as two dogs plain wolfing"