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Joke of the Day
"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Have an ice day. It's a bad one, I know."
Next Joke
"I hate when I can't understand what I'm eavesdropping on."
"Wife: Do the dishes Me: Can't. Holding the baby Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. Baby Wife: Change the baby Me: Can't. Doing dishes."
"Q: What did the nurse say to John Cena? A: ICU."
"[graduation] ...and I owe it all to my mom, and my late dad *sheds tear* [crowd cries] *dad walks in holding starbucks* ""traffic, my bad"""
"Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations."
"When a drunk girl in her 20s screams, ""Oh my God, I love this song!"", you can be sure that song sucks."
"My 9 year old ran away for an hour and by the time he came back my wife had already turned his bedroom into a yoga studio."
"A dog walks into a bar..... Bartender comes over and asks....""why do you look so rough?"""
"What did one suicide bomber say to the other? ""Dude, I don't think it worked."""