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Joke of the Day

"Build a man a fire and he will be warm for one day Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

"My girlfriend and I have an intimate relationship, but she got upset when I was using her toothbrush. So I just said 'Hey, if YOU have a better way to get dogshit out of sneakers...'"

"Oral sex makes your whole day.. ..Anal sex makes your hole weak.."

"*police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a panda suit* QUICK HIDE THESE NO TIME TO EXPLAIN *throws a litter of panda cubs at me*"

"Why is NTFS healthy? Because it's FAT free."

"What do you call a herpes pun? a play on warts"

"Q: What do you call a male quartet? A: Three men and a tenor."

"[trying to talk to girl] Ha so you from around here? ""Ya"" Cool me too. I love planet earth"

"Boxers Last night as I was sitting on the edge of the bed gently pulling off my boxers, the wife said, ""You spoil those dogs!"""

"I tried a vegan recipe book last night. It was much tastier than any of the recipes in it."