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Joke of the Day
"What do Emos and automatic lights have in common? They'll both off themselves eventually."
Next Joke
"If a cannibal ate a comedian... ...that could lead to some funny shit"
"Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom."
"What's the difference between water and gasoline? In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded."
"What every man wants to hear after sex:"
"I can't remember where I parked my car an hour ago but I can recall how stupid I was at 20. Please God erase that memory & bring back my car"
"Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer? A. Chelsea Clinton"
"If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken."
"How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb."
"I'm so lazy, if autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I put my phone down."