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Joke of the Day

"Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom."

"Just drank two 5-Hour Energy shots. Will I get 10 hours of energy? And why is that rainbow giggling at me? AndAHH MY SKIN IS ON INSIDE-OUT!"

"I refuse to participate in scavenger hunts because it's still murder to shoot people even if they were digging in dumpsters."

"I wish 'twitter' was an irregular verb so we could conjugate it thusly: twitter, twat, twitten huehue"

"Boss: Read me one of your funny tweets Me: Not right now I'm working Boss: Bahahahaha tell me another one"

"Some thieves stole tofu. Authorities have no leads yet on this tasteless crime. credit to The Oregonian, pretty much"

"I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones. I didn't make the cast."

"If you managed to figure out the code to someone else's luggage... Could you say you solved the case?"

"I wonder if the clothes in China say ""made around the corner """

"How does the Terminator lose weight? By counting Kylereese."