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Joke of the Day

"Why should you bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing? Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer."

"When I get startled, I scream in a really deep voice instead of my normal one. Cause if I'm going to be freaked out, you should be too."

"My girlfriend got mad and said she need some time and distance as she left the house crying... I still don't get it why she wants to calculate the velocity"

"In response to the ""How do you starve a black person"" joke. I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist son-of-a-bitch!"

"I hate using abbreviations idk y i h8 it doe"

"Don't like me? You'll come around. - Onion Rings"

"I find it quite sexy to see cum dribbling out of a girl's vagina. But not if I've just taken off her knickers."

"I cant find my large stir fry pan It's like it just gets up and Woks away"

"Do you know why they call them Sperm Whales? Because they're delicious!"

"I woke up hungover but couldn't make myself throw up. So I guess I have a lotta shit to deal with today."