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Joke of the Day

"dont tell the delivery guy you're gonna Fuck the pizza. Don't tell delivery guy You're gonna fuck the Pizza ""Thank you i intend to Fu"

"My left hand is dominant. Sometimes it spanks my right one."

"How do Russians put windows in? Putin Windows duh."

"I just want to be important enough that someone unexpectedly puts a cup of coffee in my hand, which I gratefully accept with only a nod."

"What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck."

"My mom wants 3-D eye surgery to see 3-D movies without glasses. I told her they don't exist. She doesn't care. Operation's next Tuesday."

"Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor."

"I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing. She's behind with the laundry."

"What do you call an Italian man with a rubber toe Roberto"

"""Apparently I wasn't clear the first time that I want exactly two joules per second in my ass"" ""I said watt watt in the butt."""