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Joke of the Day

"My mom wants 3-D eye surgery to see 3-D movies without glasses. I told her they don't exist. She doesn't care. Operation's next Tuesday."

"Doctor told my wife and I that our baby has an extra chromosome... What a downer."

"The Past, the Present and the Future walk into a bar... It was *tense*."

"ok that's baby's 17th word *opens baby journal* so far we've got flerch, yarf, veerm... honey has it occured to you our kid is an idiot"

"California Q: How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Hella."

"what is the mods favorite joke? [deleted]"

"What do ""Jingle Bells"" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common? They're both Christmith Thongs."

"[gets exhausted after having sex for five minutes] ""Go on without me"""

"What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction? Stupid, filthy habitses!"

"Interviewer to me: what is your weakness? I replied : Honesty. Interviewer : But Honesty is not a weakness that's a good thing. I replied: I do not give a fuck what you think."