158979

Joke of the Day

"I don't need a pair of underwear, I just need one clean underwear."

"The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently."

"Why does Oedipus hate profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth."

"Just heard that they served cider at Margaret Thatcher's wake... ...it was Thatchers Cold"

"If someone's mean to you, just lean in and whisper ""I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world"" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head."

"Women's magazines: 20 pages ""accept yourself"" 40 pages ""loose 30kgs in 4 weeks"" And Cake recipes.."

"You know you are Canadian when 0c and sunny is beautiful warm day..."

"What do you call someone who hates cold weather? A southerner"

"What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree might kill you? A pool table."

"*getting murdered* Oh, wow, this is totally clearing my sinuses"