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Joke of the Day
"Internet, you've made a compelling argument. Sleep: present your case."
Next Joke
"When I change my son I don't use diaper cream, I use anti-wrinkle cream. He'll thank me as an adult with the smoothest balls in history."
"A priest, rapist and pedophile enter a bar. ^^^A ^^^priest, ^^^rapist ^^^and ^^^pedophile ^^^enter ^^^a ^^^bar. He orders a beer."
"What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart? A tutor."
"*Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* ""Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"""
"the neighborhood teens have left so many burning bags of garbage on my lawn that everyone thinks that this is the place you burn garbage now"
"What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world? An ambulance"
"I almost cut my finger off cutting some celery to eat and all I could think is this never happens with cupcakes."
"romeo tells juliet she's fat"
"There once was a man named Dave Dave dug up a chick from the grave. She looked kinda gritty... Was missing a titty... But think of the money he saved!"