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Joke of the Day
"My neighbor upstairs bought a new treadmill and I accidentally just shot five holes in my ceiling."
Next Joke
"""Well ... I'll be dammed."" Bodies of water when they see beavers coming."
"He raised an eyebrow, put his hand down and with one eye on the table, looked expressionless. Never play poker against Mr Potato Head."
"Occasionally, I like to go to Walmart, buy a jar of Vaseline, a cucumber and a Bottle of Gin and wink at the cashier"
"Me: can I have a few extra days off over Christmas Boss: it's May Me: sorry, may I have a few extra days off over Christmas"
"Did you hear about the skywriter's autobiography? It was way over my head."
"Jennifer Aniston is always cast in the same role because she's a victim of Rachel profiling."
"Why do gay guys dress so well? They spent a lot of time in the closet."
"Why does Bill Cosby carry around a nutcracker everywhere he goes? So he can bust a nut without having to rape anybody."
"[Drives date home] ME [stops and revs engine sexily] I had a great time tonight DATE: [climbs off my lawnmower] I did not"