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Joke of the Day

"Me: can I have a few extra days off over Christmas Boss: it's May Me: sorry, may I have a few extra days off over Christmas"

"the blood of the innocent will run in the streets? maybe it should get a car or at least use the sidewalk"

"Introducing my girlfriend to the family Me: This is my girlfriend Jane Jane: Hi Wife: What the fuck"

"Why are guys so bad at math? They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches."

"Vampires aren't on FB because they can't take pictures of themselves in front of a mirror."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choirboy."

"How many feminists? How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."

"Six jews are in a park, two leave. How many people are left? Zero, because jews aren't people."

"Grocery stores nowadays have amazing selection We have powdered milk, powdered orange juice, powdered eggs, baby powder..."

"Yo momma so fat and racist... She has a KKK cup size. Wears three white hoods - one on her head, and two on her chest!"