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Joke of the Day

"How could a leper afford a nice house? It cost an arm and a leg"

"If your victim freaks out when you pull a knife, politely sheath your blade and change the subject."

"Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots."

"My cat and I have lots in common like how we both cry when we're hungry and both put our ass in the air when it's being rubbed."

"Did you know NASA 30 years ago made a new space drink? Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't get 7-UP."

"Loneliness can make you do some strange people."

"I'll eat when I'm dead - zombies"

"I hate two types of people... haters and hypocrites."

"[marriage counseling] She thinks I make bad decisions ""He hired a clown for my nana's funeral"" PEOPLE NEEDED CHEERING UP, KAREN"

"Why do they call boats ""she""? Because the wives had to get on board somehow."