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Joke of the Day

"I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven't eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta."

"My wife's an experienced navigator, she gives great headings."

"The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured."

"Last CsGo update"

"What is invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts"

"Some people think that their life experience compensates for their lack of brain."

"On Hitler's birthday my company is discounting everything... Everything will be nein percent off. My mother actually came up with this..not sure if I should be concerned."

"In Canada, Miles Davis is known as Kilometers Davis."

"[first day as a coroner] me: he died at 11:42AM detective: are you positive me: it's hard with all this death but i'm hanging in there"

"Happy to report that I just made People magazine's list of top 100 million people on Twitter."