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Joke of the Day

"""Can we have 'Punctuation Sex' tonight?"" I asked the wife. ""What do you mean, 'Punctuation Sex?"" she queried. ""It's where I put my semi in your colon ..."""

"Why did the mushroom have so many friends? He was a fungi."

"You guys ever see a mannequin and think she's completely out of your league?"

"Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens? She didn't want to litter"

"Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ? Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !"

"Dad says he's practicing Tai Chi to learn how to align his 'Chi's Now, he says, he just needs to learn how to align his crackers, and he'll be able to make a perfect party platter."

"I'm not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry."

"I think my glasses make me look ugly... and so do my contacts"

"Why won't cannibals eat Frank Sinatra? Because he's always coming back!"

"Did you hear about the romantic comedy that has a cast consisting only of Vine stars? They've already announced the title: ""P.S. I Got 'Eem""."