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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I were talking about pets, she said she'd like to get a manatee. I just laughed and said, ""Two sugars, please."""

"Why Does Dr. Pepper Come in a Can? ...Because his wife died."

"Trying to write a racist joke. But it is impossible since this huge nigger is looking at me and sees every word i wri...assfnj fasd"

"I slept with my best mate's wife last night and now I feel terrible. She must have given me a cold or something."

"Congress If CON is the opposite of PRO, is congress the opposite of progress?"

"If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me."

"I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support it's given me over the years."

"What happened to the blind circumcisor? He got the sack."

"Just had an awful drive home. I was forced to ride side by side with another car for 5 minutes. We managed to avoid eye contact, but still."

"What do you call a really extraordinary farmer? A man outstanding in his field."