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Joke of the Day

"So I was talking to Abrham Lincoln And I asked him, ""what are you doing tonight?"". He said, ""My wife's dragging me to a play somebody please kill me."""

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's a really obscure number. You probably never heard of it."

"2 peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted"

"What's green got 6 legs and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you ? A pool table"

"A midget went to the gym while visiting Sweden... He was a little thor the next day."

"I was learning about the Holocaust in history class today. I couldn't concentrate."

"What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !"

"Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat."

"When I give people a tour of my bedroom, I like to say, ""And this is where the magic happens,"" followed by a sad, ""... magic isn't real."""

"Doctor's Office Roses are red Violets are blue I have an uncomfortable Bladder issue"