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Joke of the Day

"Wanted: Human left leg, to finish the monster I'm making in my basement. Will pay handsomely. No weirdo's."

"What did Nietzsche call his Yiddish cab driver? An Uber mensche."

"What do you call bread so burnt it can never be ate? Comatoast"

"What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray?? A seasoned veteran"

"""Excuse me shopkeep, where are your Terminators?"" ""Aisle B, back""."

"One day I'm going to cure blindness... You'll see. You'll all see!"

"Since Greece is likely to default... one could say the gyro-zone is going to leave the euro-zone."

"Your password must contain 9 letters, a treasure map, Drakes social security # & the sound Marv made on Home Alone when he stepped on a nail"

"The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble. You put it into your shoe. It makes you limp."

"My wife got mad at me because apparently turn on the veg doesn't mean.. Finger her disabled sister"