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Joke of the Day

"Wanted: Human left leg, to finish the monster I'm making in my basement. Will pay handsomely. No weirdo's."

"Body: I'm sooooooo tired Brain: WHAT IF DINOSAURS HAD ASSAULT RIFLES"

"In a touching tribute to Joan Rivers, Target today announced that it would print funny little anecdotes on all of their shopping bags. Just so plastic can make us laugh one more time."

"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings, I'm a drunk, we go to parties."

"What do you get a man who has everything? storage"

"Couple claiming Virginity: Girl:If this Is your 1st time,then how did u do it so well? Boy:If this Is your 1st time,then how do u know that i did well???"

"hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine"

"I was in my coworkers office, and he said ""Hey buddy... (VERSION 3.0) FUCK YOU LOL MADE U LOOK DUMBASS."

"Husband: Quick. What's this song? Me: Awful."

"Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies!"