214649

Joke of the Day

"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings, I'm a drunk, we go to parties."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oysterman and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits..."

"Mary had a little sheep and with the sheep she went to sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram so Mary had a little lamb."

"Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch."

"Just got bit by a black widow... People are fucking crazy."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I will not read."

"*pushes vending machine over NO YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!"

"FISHING TRIP Joseph *casting his line*: Son, your mother thinks it's time I tell you- You're agodpted. Jesus *runs across the lake crying*"

"Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone"

"A cow fell off a truck in Russia They say he hadn't been Put in properly."