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Joke of the Day
"A dog made out of diamonds is everyone's best friend."
Next Joke
"WIFE: You know, you're my best friend! Am I your best friend? ME: [subtly exchanges knowing glance with our dog] Of course you are, sweetie"
"I got stung by an applebee and now I'm going into bananaphylactic shock."
"Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked."
"I was told that hardcore Christians don't think anal counts as losing your virginity so that's why pastors get off scot free"
"I never understood how a mother could lift a car with a child trapped under, until my phone got stuck under my bed."
"Me: Bless me father for I have sinned... Priest texting me back: I already told you, I'm not absolving u of your sins unless you come in."
"A Muslim, an idiot, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hello Mr.President."""
"I saw a construction sign today that said, ""road rehab"". It must've been addicted to crack."
"Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things."