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Joke of the Day
"Treat your woman like a vacuum cleaner, if she stops sucking, replace the bag"
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"*saves baby from burning building* ""How can I ever repay you?!"" Favstar in the bio ""Oh I don't have Twi-"" *returns baby to burning building*"
"Started to travel back in time to kill Hitler, but then I decided to be more efficient and went back and shot Adam and Eve instead."
"Waiter, there's an I in my team"
"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite dice game? Benghahtzee."
"Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say ""um"""
"What's the difference between public hair and pubic hair? Pants."
"What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're? ad homonym"
"Scientists Say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons.. They Forgot to mention Morons.."
"Doctor: Any cancer in the family? Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I'll have to check on everyone else. Doc: ..."