158302
Joke of the Day
"Always trust people who like big butts. They cannot lie."
Next Joke
"I drink to forget... my alcoholism."
"People are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree."
"There are three kinds of people... The ones who say the glass is half full, The ones who say the glass is half empty, And the one who thinks you should have gotten a smaller glass."
"The world has gotten so politically correct that I don't know what is appropriate to throw at a crying baby in a restaurant anymore."
"Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even."
"Finding that one slob at the gym who's in worse shape than you is the best feeling. The worst is realizing ""he"" is a mirror."
"Art: Stop it. Life: *mockingly* Stopp iiit."
"I like my women like I like my coffee... Cheap and bitter."
"Uber driver: ""I'm close, where are you?"" Me: ""oh I see you"" Uber Driver: ""Are you the guy in the middle of the road?"" Me: ""yeah floor it"""