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Joke of the Day

"Every time my friend plays with his xbox... She is left thinking that they are getting back together."

"Got in a fight with my boner this morning; Don't worry i beat it single handedly."

"Nostalgia It really isn't what it used to be."

"Anyone know if Flava Flav survived the weekend's Daylight Savings switchover?"

"What do The Walking Dead and Fast & Furious have in common? dead walkers"

"What type of overalls did Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim......"

"Did you hear about the famous nudist? He wanted more exposure."

"[loudly so dad who's been depressed since mom left can hear] Oh no, my GPS broke! If only I had some good DRIVING DIRECTIONS *dad looks up*"

"ME: gimme a double BARMAN: [places an exact replica of me on the bar] ME: no I meant a double Scotch BARMAN: [puts a kilt on my replica]"

"The Most Hipster Job Of All Time Is... Being a Mortician. Morticians are so hipster that their work doesn't get more popular; instead it just goes further underground."